I keep telling myself that I will have time to keep up with this blog and I keep failing miserably. I find that
every time I think things will slow down a bit, something else is happening that prevents free time from becoming
plenteous.
Our house is slowly but surely getting packed and boxed up. I find sometimes that I am a bit in denial about it all, thinking that we still have lots of time before we turn our household and our family on their heads, but today leaves just 7 more days.
We went to our before job training a week or so ago. It was two full days of lots of information and lots of paperwork to bring home and go through. We also got a short "life story" on each of the boys that would be in the home when we get there. If this information does nothing but help me remember faces and names, it was worth it. I was truly heartbroken by some of the stories...just think of some of the worst living conditions you have ever heard of, abuse, neglect, filth, cruelty....and you will have started to know some of their stories. I hope that we are able to be for these kids, a glimpse at what goodness can be. I want these kids to see what God looks like from
viewing our home and our family and our relationships that we will have with them. Maybe that is
a lot to ask, but it is my prayer and hope.
We attended our "last" official playgroup on Thursday. I find that even with that I was a bit in denial. I know that some of the girls are headed over here next week to help us with some loading and last minute things and knowing that, I guess it helps me to remain in denial. I also think that with our time off that we will have, I have convinced myself that we won't miss out on as much as I am sure that we will. We will be super busy and so will our friends and keeping in touch will probably not be what we all wish it were. I will try to keep up through email and blogs and phone calls (I have an
alltel circle), but I don't know how schedules will interfere. I will hope for the best.
In lots of ways I feel like we have been prepared for this separation. When we left the Aiken church of Christ 3 years ago, it was so hard. We knew that God was telling us to take this opportunity for Adam to preach, but we didn't really know what it would lead to. What we did know is that our hearts were broken by the loss of the closeness we had been sharing with our
church family. The
Bamberg church has been wonderful and we love everyone there now, so this move will be like leaving 2 churches....
Bamberg and Aiken too, as now we are widening the gap. I know that the pain that we endured 3 years ago was preparation for this move, that would have been even more painful if not for the years that we have had to become more
independent of our friends. We have become our own best allies even more than we were and we have learned to lean on each other in our troubles. Not that we haven't gone to our friends too, and boy have we needed them in that time, but this time that we have had attending church somewhere else and
strengthening ourselves with the word of God along the way has been so beneficial. I know that it will only become more and more a blessing to have these years in our past to look back on and cherish for what they have taught us about ourselves and each other and God and His plan.
I think that every time we tell someone what we are doing they are thinking we are crazy. Some of them have just come right out and said it, and some have just looked at us like we were crazy. And to be perfectly honest, I don't know what kind of crazy people do what we are doing. I don't really know many people who are cutting their pay and selling their home (isn't that the opposite of the American dream?) and making their family life a bit wacky---
ok,
a lot wacky, we
are going to be living with 7 or 8 teenage
boys with emotional problems. On one hand, it doesn't seem like a logical thing to do, and then on the other hand, I don't know why more people aren't doing something like this. Just like I can't really tell anyone "why" in terms that make
financial sense or anything like that. It doesn't make that sort of sense. If our house doesn't sell, and soon, then it looks
a lot more like
financial suicide. But, yet I have a wonderful peace about it all, as long as I don't think into next month when the bills come due again. Truly, I find that we are some how heading toward what God has in mind. I hear people talking about taking a leap of faith and I know what they are talking about. We are totally trusting that God has a plan for our family, for our safety and health-physical, emotional, spiritual, for our financial situation. He has control over all that stuff and we have to believe that when we handed it to Him and said yes to this crazy idea, that He had a plan and was at work in that plan already. I have seen some of that plan come clear, the part of the plan that possibly had its start 3 years ago...or maybe much earlier than that. Now we will wait to see what kinds of things He has in store for us in the next years. Our God is an awesome God, so I know it will be great....even if I do think it looks a bit crazy from this side.
