Home again Home again

Home (at my Mom and Dad's) for Thanksgiving. My sister, Heather is home from Texas, and my other sister, Ashley is home from UNC. It is weird for us to all be together again. I think it has been about 1 1/2 since we have all been home. We all mostly get along pretty well, at least now that we are all mostly adults, we do.

I think for me having my siblings 6, 6, 8and 10 years younger than me, makes it hard to see them as adults. I sometimes want to see my parents telling them what they can and can't do to rein them in a bit. For them to all be old enough to drive and make their own decisions...2 of them are living in homes of their own and one is off at college, living in a dorm...it is just a little different.

I pray that they all use their best judgment and get away from the thought that they are invincible and that nothing can mess up their lives and that decisions aren't that important. It seems like for the most part they are smart and respectful of themselves and others, but then there are times when I just don't see how they are going to make it without terrible consequences to live with. It will mean lots of praying on my part and hopefully they will do what they know is right.

Wednesday night my parents' septic system backed up in the basement. Heather, Mom and I spent hours sucking water up with the wet/dry vac and the carpet cleaner. The wet vac was emptied about 4 times. It was tons of water and it was so smelly and gross. Thankfully my Dad was able to get in touch with a plumber who came out on Thanksgiving morning and snaked the pipes to help clear it. That helped and we were finally able to use water sparingly, but then we found out that the septic tank was full and needed pumping. It was pretty stressful all around. Found out some useful information on septic tanks and what to flush/not flush and what are the most likely things to clog up systems. And I also had so much fun sucking up septic water that I will never need to do it again.

Dinner was great. My mom always does a great job and it was fun to spend the morning with her and help out with the cooking. I will be so sad when the time comes for me to host the Thanksgiving dinner, as I have no idea how to make half the things that she makes or how to time all the cooking and heating and baking so that everything is ready at the same time.

We went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. It was pretty good, although I was sad to see how much had to be condensed and left out to accommodate the time slot. It was a good movie though and leaves me waiting for the next movie and looking forward to the next book too!

We even got to see some snow while we were up there. It wasn't much, but the night we drove in there were some flurries and a few cars that had sat in one place all day had a bit of snow on them. Living here in South Carolina, it may be the only snow I see all year. Occasionally we have a few flakes fall, but usually our winter precipitation is rain or sleet.

Thanks be to God for another Thanksgiving. Thanks be to Him for all the things that have happened this year. For Aralyn, who is just the joy of our household, Alora, who brings us smiles and happiness, and Aidan who is just becoming such a wonderful little boy. Thanks for my husband who means so much to me and makes my life what it is. I know that he loves us and watches over us and works for us to have the life that we share. He is a wonderful provider and father and lover and protector. Thanks for our families and friends and especially for the love that God shows to us everyday. We are truly blessed.

It's that time of year again....

The time of year when I envy all of my friends with their Christmas shopping finished. This year I am even adding to the envy list all of my friends that have a Christmas list. I have barely started any shopping and have no idea how I will finish in just the month that I have left. It is terrible this year. Some years I at least have ideas of what I might want to get for my own children, but this year, alas (don't you just love to use that word?), I have no ideas.

The struggle comes because my children don't need a thing. They have more toys than they can play with and really, my house doesn't need any more. Especially with us looking at a move soon, I would hate to have to box up all their new Christmas toys until we are in a place where we can get them out again. I am already looking forward to a move, just so that I can purge the toy boxes from broken, missing-pieced toys that just can't be thrown away under the supervision of a 5 year old pack rat.

I just want a few special things under the tree on Christmas morning...we can make up the slack with clothing or on their birthdays this coming year. Books are always a good thing, but other than that I don't really have any ideas.

Aralyn is really the easiest, as she doesn't care and baby toys are so easy. I have thought of making Aralyn a cute, little rag doll and then getting her a Bitty Baby for her birthday, but none of that is written in stone.

Alora is getting a Cabbage Patch baby, but that is the only thing I can think of for her...and really have NO other ideas that aren't dolls. She really loves dolls, but doesn't really need more than one more, if that even, and I doubt that she wants a whole herd of them under the Christmas tree. Maybe some doll related accessories would be good...she is always needing another bottle of milk for some doll or pony.

Aidan, who is old enough to know what he wants and let me know, just tells me what Alora or Aralyn might like, or drools over the $300 power wheels (even though he has a much older, handed down version already). Maybe a few more trips to the store and down the toy aisle will yield more in the way of gift ideas for the older kids.

Everyone else on the list is pretty easy this year, even though in years past they are the problem. Hopefully I will have a great idea surge and finish up the list so that I can get to shopping...afterall, all the good sales will be happening soon.

Why?

One of the things I wonder about.

Last week when I needed to go to the post office with all 3 children, there was a LONG line, it took forever and of course, my already tired children weren't the best behaved that they could have been.

Today I went to the post office with just Aralyn. I was in and out in less than a minute...no lines, no delays, just quick and easy.

WHY???? WHY?????

Friends

I was born in Hobbs, NM. It has been described as the armpit of New Mexico...by someone that currently lives there. Personally from the trip that our family made out there 2 springs ago, it seems like it has more to offer in many ways than the town in which we currently reside.

We lived in several homes/apartments in Hobbs. My mother was single and it was just the 2 of us for a long time...well 5 years or so, but that is a long time to a child. When she re-married we moved to Midland, TX. Just over the Texas-New Mexico border. Same weather, much bigger town. My first sister was born when I was 6. It was quite a change for me, but I guess being so much older, it wasn't so hard on me, as I was old enough to understand that she was the baby. My other sister followed 2 years later. The 6 and 8 year differences in ages made for me playing the "mommy" role more than the sister/friend/co-conspirator role. In Midland I had a different best friend each year. We moved pretty much each year so there weren't many years when I was in the same school with the same girls. Friends were more of a yearly thing for me. I still remember many of those girls, and while the friendship wasn't a long lasting one, it was often times a much needed friendship and deeply cherished.

When I was about 11, my mother divorced my step-father and we moved up to North Carolina where my grandmother and some other family members lived. We lived with my grandmother for 2 years and for the first time I had more than a year-long friend. It was great. There was a group of us about 5 strong and we were the best of friends. We didn't do much outside of school together, but in school we were inseparable.

After 2 years, we moved again...just my mom and sisters and me and once again a new school and friends were in the cards. I spent the last two years of middle school and the first year of high school with the same kids. One of the good friends I made was a boy. He was the best. We would talk on the phone for hours. Come high school I realized he had a crush on me and after 2 very awkward months of high school freshman dating (talking on the phone, going to the library to study and movies) we broke up and there went the friendship. My other good friend, Brandi, was a girl who I truly couldn't have survived without having in my life. We had sleepovers and parties and so much fun together. We knew so much about each other. We talked of all the high school things that went on and helped each other get over break-ups and family problems and all. I thought we would always stay so close.

Sophomore year in high school brought another move. This one for the remainder of high school. Unfortunately the move also ended the friendship I had with Brandi. The 20 minute difference in our homes and the different schools proved to be too much for 2 girls who couldn't drive and had busy lives going on outside of the friendship. We lost touch and with a move of her own we just haven't been able to get back together to catch up. However, with the new school and 3 years to be there, new friends were there. It was great to have long-term friends, or at least the closest thing I had ever had to it.

I had several girlfriends and a couple guy friends who were really a good support system. They provided the friendship that I needed to get through high school. Getting married right after high school and moving to another state pulled on those friendships too. I still keep in touch with a few gals now through email/instant messengers/etc. but we are certainly not best friends like we were in high school.

There was always something that seemed to be missing in all those relationships anyway. There was just the lack of a common goal. I mean, sure, we were all trying to pass the current grade, get to the next, ultimately graduate, but that really isn't much of a glue to hold two people together. It takes more than that.

Married life brought lots of changes, including a pregnancy just 2 years later. This was a time of great change....not just in a personal way and in our own home, but with friends. Put 2 women who share pregnancy and motherhood together and you have some mighty strong glue. With these friends there were lots of things in common. Having a happy marriage, being a good wife and mother, raising children who are loving and caring. Add to that, that this time many of these friends were found in the church and talk about glue...this was like Gorilla Glue! The common goal of heaven can pull even the most different of people together.

I have been so blessed to find some great friends. And friends like I have never had before. Friends who I am able to tell the most intimate of things. Friends who I can laugh with or cry with just as easily. Friends who I can pray with, study with, learn and grow with.

Sometimes I feel like my childhood and the number of moves and house changes and school changes that I went through left me with a hole. A hole where some life-long friend should fit. It is an oddly shaped hole. And one that can never be filled. Now, any friend that I make or have is an adult only friend. A person who, no matter what, can never fill that empty place. Thankfully it seems that even with that hole there, I can be full. The friends I have fit so close to that empty place that they squeeze it from all sides. There isn't room for an empty place any more...it will be squashed. And once it is, there will be more room for those friends to fill up. More room for a greater friendship than my life has ever let me know. I am truly blessed to know 3 of the most wonderful women...beautiful, strong, courageous, powerful, loving women, that I don't know what I would do without.

May God bless those women with all the good that He has. May their dreams and hopes and wishes all come true. May their lives be full of joy and peace and love and beauty and hope and full of God. May the friendships only grow and change in ways that will strengthen and renew day after day. May we always be there for each other and may we know, as good friends should, when the other needs a shoulder to lean on and cry on, a loving friend to share good and bad with, an open ear and heart to share the hurts and pains and joy and happinesses that come with this life here on earth. And, may we all be there to help lead each other on to the eternal place were we can be the best of friends forever and ever.

Last game and trophy night

Aidan had his last game last week. He was sad to not have any more games to play, but he had a good time. They played well and had fun and it was a good time. They also recieved their pictures...so cute! I remember thinking that he had a silly grin on his face when they took them, but they turned out pretty cute! I will have to get the scanner back from Adam's office to scan one so I can add it.

It was nice to get to know some of the parents from my little town with children Aidan's age. We run across a few that are stay at home mom's at story time at the local library, but other than that we really don't know that many. It is funny that half of them know Adam from school if they are from here, but he really doesn't keep up with many of the people he went to grade school and high school with.

Thursday night we had Trophy Night and celebrate the end of the soccer season. It was kind of nice to get to sit and talk with some of the parents and not have our minds on the games and all. The kids all just played in the tubes and slides at the indoor playground of the Burger King, so it left us having to socialize. Sometimes it seems you have to force people to do that.

Choices

I've been having a rough couple of days. It has been a struggle on many fronts and I am being stretched and pulled in so many ways right now. While in some respects being at this crucial place is nice in that it is a time to stand still and wait on God to reveal to me the steps that I need to take, it is hard to hear His voice clearly over my own voice and those of others.

I have always just been so envious of others who claim that they know for sure what God wants of them. They are faced with a decision with neither choice being one that is just "wrong" and yet they somehow come to a choice with a certainty of God's calling. It just seems to me that the only times in my life when I know for sure what God wants is when one of my choices is to continue or head towards sin. That makes it so easy...at least the knowing of which choice to pick....not necessarily the knowing how to pick it.

Right now, there just seem to be way too many options. I feel like some of them are tiny decisions that shouldn't affect much of anything, but in the overall picture, there are just so many repercussions, and I don't know that I am willing and ready to cause those changes to begin. So, we are at a stalemate. And maybe that is exactly what God is wanting. For us to stand and listen and see what is going on right now, see where and how He is moving in our lives and where He is calling us to follow. The trouble comes in from outside sources. There are decisions that we would love to wait to make, make sure of them in order to make sure we are taking in all the small details and making sure that our future plans are not hampered by a hasty decision, but we are feeling tremendous pressure to make these choices, and it puts a terrible weight on them.

I don't think I have ever been in a place of such unrest before. On some levels there is a great peace in that I see God's hand moving, but on the others, there are so many ways that we could mess it up...or at least that is how it looks from this angle. And one of the toughest parts is that, on so many levels there is an unrest, choices to be made, bridges to cross, that from the outside look totally unrelated, but, when glimpsed closer all intertwine and intermingle, so in choosing just any right decision for one, it could make a right decision in another area impossible. The giant puzzle of choices is weighing heavy on our hearts and in our minds and is causing lots of stress.

No matter how bleak all that sounds, there are some great things in our lives right now. We are looking at changes that will ultimately make for a stronger and happier family life for us, and a stronger spirituality in our home life, leading us closer to God as individuals and as a family. There is cause for rejoicing in that.

I am thankful to God for all the good in our lives, for having each other and our beautiful children and that this time of unrest in our lives hasn't moved into that inner place. It seems that all other aspects, our friends, our family, our jobs and home and church and finances are all up in the air, waiting for a place to land, but our inner core is safe and secure. No matter the decisions, I know that God can work them together for good, and that gives me the most hope, that our feeble selves, even if we don't do it all just right (if that is even possible), will still be loved and cared for and held to the bosom of our merciful God. He will cradle us and comfort us, even if we mess it all up. And anyone that may be hurt by choices that we make....and more than likely someone will be hurt in one way or another, can call on the same God who is comforting us in the pain of hurting those we love, to comfort them too.

We have food and clothing and shelter and Adam and I have each other to hold one another up. Now might be one of those times that we have to hold onto one another closer than we ever have before. Wrapping our arms around our children to protect them and make decisions for them and us that will affect us all for the rest of our lives, as all decisions do. May the Lord give us the courage and faith and hope and love and wisdom to do so in the way He leads us, and may He remind us constantly that all of this is temporary and the goal is eternal. Thank God for that!

Larry, the one with the black hair...

Adam and I first ran across Veggie Tales on accident. Back when we were first married I ran across The Toy that Saved Christmas at Wal-mart and picked it up. I don't even know why...I had never heard of them and had no clue that it would be so good. I loved it! I thought it was so funny and cute and such a cute idea. Adam and I began collecting them. We realized that they had been around a few years and had a few other episodes out, so we gathered them up and watched them all, enjoying every last one. As the new ones were released, we would try to make it to the Christian bookstore to buy up the latest copy. We own every episode and would like to have them both on VHS and DVD...VHS is good for taking to church for Sunday nights and for times when we have dinners and DVD, cause we like DVD format better and they can be watched in the van too. It is nice to let them watch a 30 minute DVD on the 35-40 minute ride to church, nice that we can pick something that is morally sound for preparing our minds to worship God.

Friday night we went to the store to get some things so that I could make a batch of soup for the dinner at church today. Of course we bought way more than was on the list, it always seems to happen when we all go to the store, as I always give in to Adam's whims and then give in to my own since I am weakened from giving in to his! hehe While going past the electronics section in Wally World we browsed the new releases. Star Wars episode III is out and I would love to see it, as Adam went to see it with a few buddies of his right after Aralyn was born. (My mom was here with me or he never would have thought about going--and I would have never given him permission! LOL) $20 was a bit more than I was in the mood to spend, seeing as how we already had to get diapers and pull-ups for the girls and those add up quick. I quickly went down the aisle and had to stop when I saw it...there it was, we knew it was coming out, but didn't know it was out already! The Lord of the Beans! The latest in Veggie Tale goodness!

And is it ever good! It even came with a "free" bonus DVD. It had us laughing from the beginning. It is such a cute parody...Legolamb and Earacorn and Spiegel! So funny! And Aidan and Alora just got a kick out of the Sporks! We had eaten at Taco Bell recently and all they have are sporks, so we had just had and Momma/Daddy/5 year old/2 year old conversation about sporks and why they are.

If you happen to rush out and get the movie, make sure to get the DVD version...the extras are great! There is a great play doh activity, a neat cookie recipe that is super easy, and the veggie commentary is so funny. (They edit the movie and cut parts and the characters do a little "fake" commentary...it is so funny. Minnesota Cuke and a few of the other movies had this too and it was also full of laughs!

Sunday morning values/Saturday morning fun!

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

We had a good time last night. Next time we do Halloween we either need to have a double stroller, or an outfit that Daddy can hold a kid with. I was having to do double duty with Aralyn on one hip and Alora on the other sometimes in order to have little miss Dorothy keep up with her brother. The kids had fun and everyone loved our costumes! I was really proud of myself for pulling them all together/making them. I borrowed the lion costume from a friend and the Dorothy dress was a hand-me-down from our neice, but all the rest was made/designed by me! If you see my personal line of costumes somewhere in the future, remember my humble beginnings with these costumes, ok?!

Hey....stop laughing!